Cup of Calm #8 Connecting with Nature

“Let us learn to appreciate there will be times when the trees will be bare, and look forward to the time when we may pick the fruit.” – Anton Chekhov

How can you connect with nature today? Will it be through taking a short walk or a run? Walking in a direction that you haven’t walked in before? Maybe going ‘off road’ and walking a more unconventional route? 

During our Cup of Calm today, Stephanie read us an extract from the beautiful book ‘Delight’ by JB Priestly which reminds us of where we can find joy in the simplest of things such as walking in a pine wood, opening our eyes and observing what’s around us.

Tomorrow we will be joined by another wonderful guest facilitator, Gina Gleeson who will be taking us through some self-soothing practices. Perfect if you’re feeling at all anxious. Please do join us and, as always, feel free to invite others.  The link to join is here.

Please donate as you are able – with no obligation and no upper or lower limit. The link to donate is: paypal.me/weleadchange. All profits will go towards supporting our community of freelancers, small business owners and independents during this time. We suggest the price of a cup of coffee – £2.50 per day or £40 per month.

Thank you for your support,


She Leads Change

Cup of Calm #7 – Kindness to self

Bring to mind a time when you thought good thoughts about yourself. Where you had an internal ‘well done’ or ‘that’s great’ or even ‘I’m brilliant’.

Move into that feeling and amplify it. Turn up the volume on this good feedback and let it drown out all the ‘must’s’ and should’s’ and ‘have to’s’. Focus away from the relentless self-flagellation. Fill up on self-praise. Let the appreciation of self permeate through you and turn up the corners of your mouth.

At a time when the world has shifted on its axis, we need to be kind to ourselves. And be clear what that kindness looks like – for some its creating boundaries, for others its outdoors and exercise and for some its changing their expectations. What does being kind to yourself mean for you?

Here is David Whyte reading Love after Love by Derek Walcott.

Love After Love
The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

You may also find this free guide from one of our coaches, Gina Gleeson useful: The three keys to silence self-criticism and embrace self-acceptance.

Tomorrow we will have a guest facilitator, Stephanie Heath. Please do join and feel free to invite others.  The link to join is here.

Please donate as you are able – with no obligation and no upper or lower limit. The link to donate is: paypal.me/weleadchange. All profits will go towards supporting our community of freelancers, small business owners and independents during this time.

Thank you for your support,
She Leads Change

Cup of Calm #2 – Gratitude

Sunshine, family, birds – and even technology! Today we started with appreciation and shared things to be grateful for….

Here is the meditation I shared (with a little ad lib!):

Begin with gentle breathing. Notice the rhythm. Experience the rise and fall of your breath

Breath: As you breathe slowly in and out… Notice how reliable, how constant your breath is… Feel grateful for this vital force that tunes us into our present Breathe in appreciation Breathe out gratitude

Body: Notice your body moving as you breathe… Notice your body Scan  your body from head to toe Consider the gift to have this mixture of cells, water and magic that allows you to experience the world… Scan again – this time as if you were pouring gratitude into every cell Breathe in appreciation Breathe out gratitude

Someone/something: Take your attention out of yourself onto someone / something else Bring them to your minds-eye… Consider them with gratitude – beam gratitude like a bright light – sunshine towards them Breathe in appreciation Breathe out gratitude

Everything: Widen once more to all beings- beam this gratitude more broadly….Breathe in appreciation Breathe out gratitude Breathe…

And here is the magnificent poem read by David Whyte to remind us of all that surrounds us and supports us. Everything is Waiting for You.

Tomorrow we will be exploring resourcefulness and the format will be slightly different. Please do join and feel free to invite others. We ‘meet’ on zoom every week day morning at 8.45 for 15 minutes. The link is here.

Please donate as you are able – with no obligation and no upper or lower limit. The link to donate is: paypal.me/weleadchange. All profits will go towards supporting our community of freelancers, small business owners and independents during this time.


Thank you for your support,

All of us at She Leads Change

Learning to Listen

“The biggest communication problem, is we do not listen to understand, we listen to reply”

Iffet Burton, from our second Open Programme cohort, shares how her understanding of listening was transformed as a result of her She Leads Change experience.

“Deep listening is where you focus on the person in front of you: you do not speak, you try to stay out of your own head and really hear the words/emotions/expressions of the speaker.”

About, three weeks into the She Leads Change Open Programme, I began to grasp how to listen, yet a year later, I’d sometimes reflect on conversations, and realise I was away in my head and not really listening…then felt upset at having left someone feeling less special than they deserve.  We like to be listened to…

I have always listened and as a Teacher, my students were annoyed with my ability to be across the room talking to one person and pick up their conversation at the other end (just like most parents can) – they were, of course, off topic and I would let them know they needed to stop.  What I did not realise, is that I learnt a habit of looking like I was distracted when listening to others. 

When I first started in Pearson this habit was noted, and some of my peers felt I did not listen when they spoke to me.  I could not understand why as I always gave the correct responses and actioned everything.  It took my going on the She Leads Change Open course to learn about the skill of deep listening to understand why.

So here’s a partial ‘I’m sorry’ to those who thought I was not listening to them.  

I try very hard now, to stay in focus on what is being said to me and I get a better response.  I also remember not to multi-task when someone is asking for my help, I have learnt to say: please give me a moment, finish my task and go and give them my undivided attention.

It can be part of the issue with remote working, that some people feel they are marginalised and not heard or able to participate in discussions.  I read a document written by the Pearson Senior HR Manager, Kevin Lyons who publishes on GroSum which points to this situation.   

So next time you are tempted to type whilst on the phone, or type while answering a question to a colleague, consider if you left them feeling they knew the answer and had been heard, or would they leave and find someone else, not entirely sure you knew what they asked or discussed?


Our Spring 2020 Open Programme starts on 18th February.

The three month peer mentoring programme helps women better manage their internal narratives, successfully navigate personal and professional relationships and lead from a place of confidence.

We would love to have you join us. Apply now or get in touch with Laura if you have any questions.

Inside our Open Programme

Lamese Waterfield, who completed our Open Programme earlier this year, sheds light on some of the areas the programme covers and the results and effects that she is now seeing.

Self Authentic leadership is about having a deep sense of self, knowing your strengths but also your weaknesses. The programme starts the journey of greater self-awareness and purpose, to be able to lead from the heart.  

I now more clearly see the value I bring to my role and projects and I am more confident about injecting my values within my role and organisation. I am speaking up with more courage, clarity, self-belief and ownership.

Other From active listening to deep listening we were given tools and techniques to develop our presence. We practiced the different levels of listening to help deepen interactions in meetings, work, projects and relationships. 

Learning how to fully listen has helped me manage meetings better and develop more impactful relationships at work.

Photo by Danielle MacInnes on Unsplash

Whole How do we fit into the various systems within which we operate? What’s in our control in the work we do and what role can we play to create change? The programme gave us the opportunity to explore our beliefs and assumptions connected to the systems we operate in and together, we created new possibilities for ourselves, our organisations and our communities.

I have a better sense of when to step in and when not to, a more holistic understanding of all moving parts and where my role sits. Clarity about how I work in the system has helped me start to crack impostor syndrome!

Resilience Resilience is a vital in the workplace and our personal lives. On the three-month journey we explored and unpicked resilience to build clarity on boundaries, accountability and developing your voice. 

I met a former colleague recently and we spoke in-depth about resilience because we both suffered under the same manager. She asked how I felt about that time now and I simply said: “I will never allow anyone to treat me that way again and let it go on for so long but I also take responsibility because I allowed it to happen and that’s something I won’t do again either.”

Vulnerability Allowing yourself to be vulnerable creates space for growth. Brené Brown speaks of vulnerability and leadership – the courage to step up in uncertain times and being fully exposed to the discomfort of possible failure. The programme provides a safe space with like-minded women to explore the power of vulnerability.

Theory U has stuck with me and I use it my personal and professional life – the process of letting go (of our old ego and self) and letting-come (our highest future possibility) was very powerful and I am still working with that inner place of stillness where knowing comes to the surface.

And above all else I met the most inspiring group of women – we are there to support each other, leading change together.

Get in touch if you would like to learn more, or just go ahead and apply here!